Member-only story
When My Self Abnegation Died and My Exuberant Joy was Born
Transitioning from submissive little woman to out bisexual feminist
It is stating the obvious to say each person changes over the course of their life. There are big changes and small changes, dramatic life-altering events, some for the better, some for the worse. We adjust. We adapt. Sometimes we grow and gain the strength to expand our horizons or sometimes we shrink and curl up and withdraw into smaller, safer spaces. Whatever the particulars, who you are today is not quite who you were a couple years ago, certainly not who you were a couple decades ago, and absolutely not who you were in childhood. Perhaps one way to think of this is that each of us lives a life that is a continuous string of “deaths” followed by “rebirths.”
However, I think that may be too trite a thing to say, too “Hallmark card.” We are also creatures of our environment and the people around us who have influence — even control — over us. Sometimes we have been brainwashed, and changing becomes a matter not of our natural evolution, growth and development, but rather an active struggle to fight to free ourselves from forces which have contained us, controlled us, indoctrinated us, held us down unbeknownst to us, and blinded us from seeing and embracing our own true potential and power.
