Thank you. A very interesting article and perspective. Refreshing to hear it be pointed out the ways in which viewing porn can do harm to the man viewing it, as it seems so often the debate about porn centers upon women’s issues, arguing over it being exploitive of women, or debasing or degrading to women, etc. You make a very good case about how harm is done to the viewer, and that harm can be subtle and insidious… the harm of being addicted to unrequited love. I really liked how you phrased that when you described porn as “unrequited love”; that certainly hit a chord for me, as fair description of the reason why, when I would view porn, I would experience it as simultaneous pleasure and torture.
I myself have made the case (or tried to) that whether or not to view porn is not a strictly black and white question, that it is conceivable to have a form of porn produced that is not this crass debasement of the sex act but instead porn that could better be called an “erotic film” which celebrates human sexuality in a respectful way. I wonder how such so-called “ethical porn” or sometimes called “feminist porn” would fit into what you speak of? Would it still also be harmful to the viewer for the same reasons, or could it be an avenue and means of enhancing one’s own “real world” sex life by offering inspiration to the viewer for how to become a better lover to their partner? Interesting to think about.